This has been a bad week for me...not physically but mentally.
I can have a really good, up-beat day (in my head) and the next day it's back down to the valley. :(
No reason...just my brain kicking in & trying to take control - analyzing each pain, each twinge, each commercial that talks about cancer, death, dying....
Some days I am very optimistic, other days not so much.
But each morning I read from my three books, "Jesus Calling", "Moments of Peace in the Morning" and my Read in a year Bible. And every morning, God shows up.
Yesterday & the day before were particularly bad mornings & I read this:
On Wednesday: "Jesus Calling"
"Come to Me with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings. I know the depth and breadth of your neediness. Your life-path has been difficult, draining you of strength. Come to Me for nurture. Let Me fill you up with My Presence: I in you and you in Me.
My Power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to My Presence".
On Thursday: "Jesus Calling" (part of the devotion):
"You must make your choices one at a time, since each is contingent upon the decision that precedes it. Instead of trying to create a mental map of your path through this day, focus on My loving Presence with you. I will equip you as you go, so that you can handle whatever comes your way. Trust Me to supply what you need when you need it".
Yesterday in my "Moments of Peace in the Morning":
"Out of the Deep"
Difficult days come unexpectedly - like a flood. You cannot plan for them; neither can you prepare for how they affect you. Though outside, unexpected forces may be their cause, they mainly come through the common things of life. It is the abundance of small, daily problems that can inundate your soul.
Even as the waters of adversity rage, remember that God is your great lifeguard and that He is able to rescue you. Turn each problem - each drowning drop of difficulty - over to Him this morning. Surely He will lift you out of the overwhelming waters and bring you out to a spacious place where you can breathe".
"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He pulled me out of deep waters". 2 Samuel 21:17
*********************
I am learning so much through this life event. God shows me something new everyday and helps me remember why I am here.
It has been almost a month since I first saw Dr. Parker on April 1st. I am still here...
This month I have spent time with my family on Easter, talked to my sons on the phone several times, spent time with my daughter and time with my husband. I have had friends & family over to celebrate Steve's 60th birthday. I have found out that I will be in the delivery room when my darling granddaughter is born & have decided to change my treatments to start after she is safely here.
I have prayed and sang and cried with my church family and received flowers & cards from them. I have laughed at jokes, laughed at TV shows, walked out into beautiful Spring mornings with sunshine and moved through gray, happy to have it - rainy days. I have washed dishes, washed laundry, made my bed, taken showers, watered my plants and made dinners. I have done all this & more this month & I am still here.
Physically I feel fine, except I'm a little more tired than I was last month & my neck hurts a little more, but other than that, I feel fine. Until you stop & count up everything you do in a month, you don't realize how busy you are with your life. These days I will never take for granted again. I will laugh more, spend more time with friends & family, walk outside more to notice the beautiful day - sunshine or rain. I will remember all of this is a gift from God & appreciate all that I have. Everyday that passes is a gift & I will enjoy each moment.
It's been a month since I found out what is going on in my body & I am still here. God has given me this month, just as He gives me this day & tomorrow & next week. At the end of each day - I realize that I have made it through another day - not "sick", just made it. None of us know how many days we have, so we must take advantage of all of them - sick or well, happy or sad.
No comments:
Post a Comment