7/9/11 - What I've Learned Since I've Been Sick...

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain."

 

 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED SINCE I'VE BEEN SICK ~ 

OR - 

THERE MAY BAD DAYS & GOOD DAYS - BUT THEY ARE ALL "STILL HERE" DAYS ~

 

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The "bad" things I've learned since I've been sick:

1) The pain meds that they give you don't always work..

I have been dealing with back pain for almost 2 weeks. Had been taking the the pain meds that I had been told I could take for this (during the 1st treatment), but they just weren't working. So I called the Dr. again & he said that I wasn't taking enough! So he sent out a new prescription and those have been easing the pain somewhat, but it is still there every morning & sometimes through the day, if I don't keep on schedule with the pills.

 

2) When your hair starts to fall out, you might want to wait a couple of weeks before you shave your head...

My hair started falling out 2 1/2 weeks after the 1st treatment, so I figured that it would just continue to fall out. I figured the best thing to do would be to just shave it then & be done with it. Unfortunately, my hair had other plans. As soon as I shaved my head, the hair started to come back in - all over! I thought maybe after the 2nd treatment, the rest would fall out - so last Wed., I shaved it again...now 2 1/2 weeks after the 2nd treatment, my hair is growing in again! :(

I guess I will just continue to shave it, until I am finished with all the treatments, just in case it decides to start falling out again, but I'm thinking I may have made a hasty decision on the hair situation!

3) The Doctor's appointment time is different than MY appointment time...

Before the last Dr. appt, we waited ~ we waited 1 1/2 hours before I was taken to a room - to then wait another 15 minutes for him to come in. I know that Drs always have a different clock that they look at than patients do :), but waiting 1 1/2 hours in a hard back office chair, is not the way I like to spend my mornings!

 

4) Summer is hotter when you are on Chemo...

It's true ~ I didn't think I could be any hotter in the summer than I usually am - every summer, but it is possible for you to feel like your body temperature is around 120 degrees on a day that the temperature outside is 105! And it is also possible for your body temperature to feel like it is around 120 degrees, when you are in your own air-conditioned house! Hot flashes - and NOT from the change of life - been there - done that!  :(   Not fun!!

5) Everyday there is a new ache or pain...

I didn't know I had so many places to have aches, but every day is a new adventure in pain/ache, some not so bad, some very bad. Most are helped with the pain meds, but still a new ache/pain almost everyday - my right wrist, the back of my neck, my big toe...you get the picture...

"Listen to my voice each morning Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly". Psalm 5:31

 

Now for the "good" things I've learned since I've been sick:

1) You get a lot more hugs when you are sick...

Everywhere I go, when I see friends/family, I receive hugs & good wishes from them. It would be nice if we could all do that everyday with everyone we come in contact with. That certainly is something for me to strive for. It seems like we only feel close enough to do that to people when they have a problem...wouldn't it be nice to wish people well & give hugs when everyone is feeling good?? I plan to work on that.

2) You get a lot more "I love you's"...

Of course I know that you can't go around telling everyone you know "I love you" all the time...that might be a little creepy, but for family members to tell each other that, every time they see each other...well...I think that would be a great thing. 

My mother did not tell me that much, when I was little (although I know for sure that she felt it). As I got older, she was a little better at it, but it just wasn't what she had been brought up with. 

 

I told myself, that I would be better at saying "I love you" than my mother was... that when I had kids, I would tell them that I loved them, each time I saw them or talked to them. I have done that, I think. We never end a phone conversation or leave each other's sight, until we have said "I love you". It really is 2nd nature to me & to my kids and I hope they feel that love. That has started with other relatives now, since I've been sick & I hope that continues,too, even when I'm not sick anymore...even though I know and they know how we feel, it's nice to hear the words.

 

Steve & I teach 4 year old Sunday School with another couple & two weeks ago, when we were away from church that Sunday, our 4 year olds made me a "get well/I love you" card and they all signed it ~ (it's about 2 feet across)

Love those little kids!

3) You get food brought by friends/family when you're sick....

It is so nice to have home cooked or fast food to eat every day  - that you don't have to prepare yourself. Some days I feel ok, but lots of days I don't feel like fixing a meal, because I don't feel good enough or I'm not really hungry (hard to think about what to fix, when nothing sounds good to you). 

It has been such a blessing to have all the friends from church, other friends  & family members bringing food to us, especially on the days that Steve works late ( I hate for him to come home to an empty /no good food smell - kitchen). But to have the food waiting for him, when he walks in the door, has just been a wonderful thing. We have had so many great meals brought to us & I am so grateful for each & every one. 

My friend (of 43 years), Sherrie, told me last week that she was bringing some meals that she had cooked & frozen, so we could just take them out & heat them up. Well, she did just that...5 or 6 main meal entrees that can be split up into about 15 meals, 3 pies, 4 cakes, 2 loaves of bread & basketful of goodies for me - hats, puzzle, fun things, books, etc. etc. and a monetary gift too, to help with the medical bills!! Thank you, dear friend, you always go above & beyond!

We are so blessed to have these wonderful friends & family members that are taking care of us & I plan to do for others as they have done for us, once this whole ordeal is over.

4) When you are sick, you are very happy when you find a new scarf OR Matching is very important when you're bald!..

I had several scarves already, Sara brought me some, several friends have let me borrow some of theirs, but I have some clothes that I didn't have scarves to match. So last week on one of my "good" days, I went to Walmart looking for scarves. Found a couple to match some of my clothes - very excited! When you're bald, the only thing you have - is to be able to match your scarves with your clothes - "If you're going to be bald, at least you need to match." You feel more "put-together" somehow. Maybe if I were younger, that wouldn't be an issue, but for me it is important & makes me feel complete. So finding a couple of scarves in colors I didn't have  - that was a good thing!

5) Another thing I've learned since I've been sick - the wind doesn't bother you (well at least if you are sick & bald)...

I love Oklahoma, wouldn't live anywhere else (probably), but I have always hated the wind - spring, summer, fall or winter...the wind never stops blowing around here!!

That is not a problem for me now. When you wear a scarf, there is no hair to blow in your face or no hair to lose all the shape that you have just spent the last 30 minutes getting together. There is no hair - only a scarf! A really good thing!

 

6) You are much more aware of God & His power, when you are sick...

As I have written over & over in this blog, I am learning so much through all of this...God is teaching me everyday. Ultimately, I have to rely on Him for His healing...the doctors, drugs, nurses, chemo can only do so much. God is the Healer & He walks with me everyday & holds my right hand.

"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desire." Psalm 37:4

So there are good things & bad things that I have learned since I have been sick, but as you can see the good far outweighs the bad.

I will still have aches & pains, I will still have times that I will wait for the Dr., It will still be hotter when I go outside this summer...

 

but I will have more hugs, more prayers said for us, more "I love you's", more precious people to bring food, more times to enjoy friends & family, more times to get closer to my God & more times for Him to speak to me, show me & teach me.

All in all it has been an exciting journey so far & one that I will treasure with joy & thankfulness. When it is over, I hope I will remember & put into practice, the things that I have learned & be a better person for it. 

There are bad days & good days, but I have "still here" days every day & I rejoice in that.